From: owner-monkey@valinor.eldar.org (Monkey Digest) To: monkey-digest@valinor.eldar.org Subject: Monkey Digest V1 #1206 Reply-To: monkey@valinor.eldar.org Sender: owner-monkey@valinor.eldar.org Errors-To: owner-monkey@valinor.eldar.org Precedence: bulk Monkey Digest Thursday, February 5 2004 Volume 01 : Number 1206 In this issue: [monkey] Episode summary - "Monkey Turns Nursemaid" (Season 1, Episode 2) [monkey] Episode summary - "The Great Journey Begins" (Season 1, Episode 3) ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Thu, 05 Feb 2004 18:00:56 +0000 From: "Howell Parry" Subject: [monkey] Episode summary - "Monkey Turns Nursemaid" (Season 1, Episode 2) Here's a summary of Monkey episode 2 by Monkey fan Bao-Loc Nguyen. I will add it to the Monkey Summaries section (http://www.monkeyheaven.com/summaries.html) soon. Howell ps If you spot any errors in the summary, please let me know ASAP - thanks! - ---- Episode summary - "Monkey Turns Nursemaid" (Season 1, Episode 2) Narrator: "In the very North of ancient China the land was empty. Even the barbarians had been driven away by the roaring and moaning which came from the mountain. Here Buddha had imprisoned Monkey when he terrorized the fairy maidens and tried to take Heaven by force..." At the end of the "Monkey goes Wild About Heaven" Monkey was imprisoned under a Buddha-created mountain as a punishment for his attempt to take over heaven by force. He bet with The Buddha that he could fly out of The Buddha's hand, and thought that he had flown to the end of the universe when he graffittied and urinated on Buddha's hand, which he mistook for the "five pillars at the end of the universe". He was supposed to remain there until he learned patience. Despite being under the mountain for 500 years, Monkey has shown no evidence of mellowing (or learning patience), nor has his voice seen to have gone hoarse at all. A very dishevelled and ragged looking earth spirit turns up to feed Monkey, saying "Stop complaining. I've come to feed the monkey," after Monkey asks "You're back to torment me." The diet consists of balls of iron and liquid copper. This is at Buddha's request and for the good of his health, because he's "... getting rusty". Monkey spits the ball into his head, so the spirit has to force-feed him and hold his mouth down. Then he digs molten copper by digging his shovel into the ground. Monkey points to, and asks the spirit to remove the seal of Buddha (but the spirit isn't silly enough to do it).The spirit leaves, telling Monkey he'll see him again in 10 years or so, to Monkey's insults about his body odour. Monkey is feeling lonely, repeatedly shouting "I don't like it" and "Let me out, Tathagata. 500 years and I can't scratch an itch. If I get out of here, Buddha, I'll make you sorry." The Buddha sits upon a lotus throne preaching in His library in the Temple of the Great Thunder Clap while he waits for the time to fulfil itself. There are hundreds of Buddhas and Bodhisattvas in the audience. Monkey will have to wait for sometime longer under the mountain. "Monkey nature has turned mankind from the Buddha within, but the words of the scriptures can show a way to illumination" and deliver humanity from suffering. So The Buddha says that The Greater Vehicle Scriptures must be given to mankind. However they cannot be given too easily in case mankind doesn't value the gift. The Buddha asks for somebody to go and find a holy man to undertake the mission. Kuan Yin "The Lady Compassion" (and Chief Fairy of Heaven) volunteers to find a Holy Man to come to Buddha for the Scriptures, although conceding that "It may not be easy". Choosing a male manifestation, Kuan Yin starts off for earth to search for a truly Holy Man with an assistant. Narrator: "If The Buddha could stay in female aspect thought The Goddess Kuan Yin, why should she not manifest herself as male for this dangerous task?" "I'm going to eat you!" Kuan Yin has arrived on Earth and is sailing along a river when her boat, being rowed by the attendant Hui-Yen, encounters difficulty when the oar is stuck. Kuan Yin wonders what the matter is, so Hui-Yen pokes at the water with his staff. Sandy jumps out of the water and attacks Hui-Yen. The former Commander of the Heavenly Hosts has sunk to being a cannibal. Hui-Yen manages to knock Sandy back into the water. Kuan Yin recites a sutra that speeds their boat away from Sandy, but he soon catches up and attacks again, as Kuan Yin disembarks onto dry land near a bunch of reeds. Sandy: "Hey dinner. You look absolutely delicious." During the fight, Sandy wonders how a scrawny little priest could possibly hold him off for so long. Kuan Yin's escort Hui-Yen reveals The Lady Compassion's identity. Sandy explains how he was thrown out of heaven to Earth by the Jade Emperor as a fish monster and was forced to become a cannibal because he had never received any education and only knew how to be an angel. He begs Kuan Yin to speak to The Buddha about getting the Jade Emperor to let him back into Heaven. Kuan Yin tells Sandy that all his troubles are over and that he is to be made a Holy disciple. Sandy is surprised when he is told that Monkey will explain everything. Kuan Yin and Hui Yen are walking across fertile farmland when a smouldering black ball rolls down the cliff, narrowly missing their heads. Narrator: "Having named one monster Sandy, The Bodhisattva next found another degenerate spirit. This was Pigsy." Unaware of their identity, Pigsy also attacks Hui-Yen and Kuan Yin, using his muckrake as a javelin twice. He swings at Hui-Yen and tosses him into the air and somersaults after him. Pigsy swings again, missing and splitting a rock in half. While they clench weapons, Kuan Yin prays and materializes a shower of lotus blossoms in the middle of the battle. Pigsy is undeterred and taunts Hui-Yen. Hui-Yen reveals that they were made by the Lady Compassion who can save you, "... from all the 8 kinds of disaster". Pigsy is unimpressed because he sees a man, but throws himself to his knees, addressing Kuan Yin as "my lord or lady" and begs to be told what to do to return to Heaven. Pigsy: "I did nothing much, only kissed the Star Spirit Vega. Now in this incarnation, I am forced to lust after women." Hui-Yen: "No one can force you to do that. Perhaps it is rather fortunate the goddess is in her female aspect." After arguing about the dignity of pigs, Kuan Yin tells him that a Holy Youth shall find him and save him. He must obey all his instructions and join him on a holy journey. Pigsy is taken aback when he too is told that Monkey will explain everything. Narrator: "Not condemning the passions of Pigsy, Kuan Yin then levitated to an obscure part of heaven, where she saw a captive dragon." There is a steel silver dragon who sitting atop a cloud, chained up, and crying incessantly like a hose. Here, the Old Dragon King of the Western Ocean has chained up one of his male children. The Dragon child is crying and its tears are drowning mortals on Earth. It tells Kuan Yin "You'd cry if your father was going to execute you." The Old Dragon King has sentenced the child to death after it accidentally set fire to his Palace under the sea. Kuan Yin tells the dragon to stop drowning people on earth and releases the Dragon from its chains and it falls to earth, in a river between two steep mountain cliffs on either side. Kuan Yin tells the Dragon that it will help a young priest called Tripitaka and that Monkey will explain everything. Hui-Yen sees a bright light shining from earth through to Heaven and asks Kuan Yin what it is. Kuan Yin reveals that it is the bright reflection of the Buddha Seal, and she uses it to guide them to Monkey's mountain. Monkey is very excited and beckons the pair towards him. He begs Kuan Yin to release him, but she won't, but assures that he will be released "any day now". Monkey: "Your great statues have more feelings, and they call her Goddess of Mercy and Compassion. You know what you are? You're nothing but a two-faced two-sexed turtle." Hui-Yen angrily strikes Monkey but falls over on hitting his stone head. Kuan Yin says that the "only certainty is change" and that Monkey will be "free in the end." Monkey retorts that mountains decay in the end and that he is invincible form eating the heavenly peaches. Kuan Yin says that The Lord Buddha has work for Monkey and it is predestined that a Holy Youth will come and free him. Only Buddha knows the predestined Holy Youth's real name and location. Kuan Yin has yet to find him, as Monkey volunteers to roam free and find the youth himself. We see a grand 3 storey villa overlooking a cliff (This same building is using to depict the Lotus Caves inhabited by Golden and Silver Horn in "Monkey Swallows the Universe"). It is a temple, where a young priest, is telling his abbot that he must leave the monastery to find out his origins. The abbot regrets that he won't be the next abbot and thanks him for being his student before he journeys off. Many years ago a baby was found abandoned and hidden by a river next to a Monastery. The old Abbott adopted him, never mentioning a letter found with him until now. The adopted baby was Tripitaka and the contents of the letter cause him to leave the Monastery and seek answers about his origins. The priest turns up at a nobleman's house. The servant has told the lady of the house, that the person has asked for her by name, and perhaps wants charity. The lady asks the priest how he knew her name and he tells about how her abbot found her. She takes the priest into the house and looks at the letter. The lady turns out to be the author of the letter and is the priest's mother. He discovers that his real name is Hsuan Tsang and that his mother was forced to abandon him as a baby because she feared for his life. An evil man call Lu has killed his father and took over his governorship, claiming to be the authentic Lord Lu. She feared that he would kill her if she ran to the imperial court to expose him. Tripitaka's mother gives him two pieces of her jewellery as proof of identity and tells him to contact his maternal grandfather and the Emperor immediately to tell them about Lord Lu. At the moment that the priest leaves, the false Lord Lu comes in and deduces that Lady Lu has been talking to someone, and punches her twice in the face. Narrator: "It wasn't easy, but at last the youth reached his grandfather. And his grandfather appeared to the emperor of China." The grandfather has an audience in front of the Emperor, with Hsuan Tsang by his side. He presents the jewellery to prove that Hsuan Tsang is his grandson, and that the Lord Lu is an impostor. Tripitaka's story shocks the Emperor so much ("we have seen nothing more terrible") that he sends the Imperial 17th Army to exterminate the evil Lu and his men. The Imperial 17th army confronts Lord Lu's army on their turf with all their battle finery. Lord Lu attempts to repel the superior and more numerous Imperial cavalry with fiery arrows, but it is to no avail. At the end of the battle Lu and his army are captured. They are strung up on wooden crosses in the Imperial courtyard, before the Emperor and an execution squad armed with lances. The Emperor motions for the executions to begin and Tripitaka runs from his mother's side to beg the Emperor to stop Lu's execution, but to no avail. Hsuan Tsang: "The false Lord Lu is not good. But he's someone's son." Emperor: "You will not soften our hearts towards people such as these. The followers will be caught. The leaders executed." The drum roll starts and the execution squad lunges at the prisoners, stabbing them to death in the chest. As the bodies are taken from the scene, and people are looting the clothes and jewellery of the dead men, Hsuan Tsang stands over them and laments, "Too many lives to save my mother. It's not right. Buddha, save Lu," and then closes his eyes and begins to pray. Kuan Yin and Hui-Yen walk up the aisle and notice Hsuan Tsang. Kuan Yin calls him a "Holy Fool" and after Hui-Yen agrees that they have found the correct priest, Kuan Yin appears to him as an apparition. Tripitaka falls to his feet and bows to the Bodhisattva. Kuan Yin tells Hsuan Tsang that he is now to be known as Tripitaka, and that he is trying to save the souls of the dead with the wrong scriptures, as the Lesser Vehicle scriptures are not enough. The Greater Vehicle scriptures are needed to save the dead and Buddha has chosen him to go on a holy journey to fetch them. Kuan Yin gives him gifts from Buddha that will help him on his journey. Tripitaka appears in front of the Emperor, again to ask permission to undertake the pilgrimage. After some initial reluctance due to the dangers of the perilous journey, Tripitaka sets off on his 105,000 League journey with the Emperor's blessing. Narrator: "Do what you have to do, said the Buddha, with all your heart. The traveller who drags his feet only raises dust." We see a montage of a map of China showing the route of the pilgrimage and Tripitaka and two lay assistants making their way across China. Only weeks into his journey both Tripitaka's mortal assistants succumb to the many dangers. In the montage we see that one of them is killed by a tiger and another appears to have drowned. "Undaunted, the holy fool continued alone." After plodding solo on a brown horse for a while, Tripitaka encounters a strange man under a mountain, Monkey. Monkey gains the attention of Tripitaka with a call of "Oi, over here." Monkey realizes that it is Tripitaka and tells him that he has the power to free him. Tripitaka asks Monkey if he is an immortal and he replies, "Well, you know, a bit." Tripitaka is apprehensive because he doesn't have a hammer or crowbar, but Monkey directs him to the seal of The Buddha. Tripitaka is uncertain about removing it, so he just touches it and prays; the magic seal ascends to the heavens. Monkey tells Tripitaka to stay far away and he causes a few massive explosions to free himself from the mountain. Monkey knows that this is Tripitaka and immediately sets off with him, telling him not to bother introducing himself, "We're only going to India - pow!" They have only gone a short while when there is a whistle, and a group of robbers confront Monkey and Tripitaka. Referring to them as monkey face and priest, the leader declares that they will die. When Tripitaka refers to them as "sir" and tells them that they are on holy pilgrimage from the Emperor of China, Monkey says that Tripitaka shouldn't "waste sirs on this lot, they're robbers." Monkey enlarges his wishing staff out of his ear and brags that he has been waiting 500 years for a good fight and chases them into the bush, to Tripitaka's anxiety. He makes multiple copies of himself quickly kills all of them, proudly returning to Tripitaka with a few accessories from the spoils of the fight. Tripitaka enquires about the fight and is horrified when Monkey declares that he "killed the lot" and that it "felt good to fight again". Tripitaka reprimands Monkey for his unauthorized killings and insists that he must obey his commands; and that he is on a holy mission from The Buddha and cannot kill anything. Monkey isn't willing to be lectured by a mortal, saying that Buddha is not his friend and is a spoilsport and calls his cloud to escape, saying "I'm certainly not going to get caught again, so you run along. I'm not your nurse. See you around!" Tripitaka remembers that Kuan Yin specifically told him that he would need to catch Monkey so The Holy Fool is forced to frisbee the headband onto Monkey's head, and reads the Headache sutra so that Monkey falls off his cloud and comes back to Tripitaka. Tripitaka reveals that The Buddha gave it to him via Kuan Yin and explains how it works. Monkey protests about Tripitaka's commands a few times and is given a headache every time until he starts to follow along. Narrator: " It's better to travel alone than with a fool. But what may two fools do. Dwelling on your brother's faults, said The Buddha, only multiplies your own and you are far from The Way." We see Sandy standing chest high in the river, staring at a recently caught fish, musing "Where are they, by now they should be here." We see Pigsy eating a roast chicken, and then he smells women's underwear hanging on the clothes line. He vows that this is not enough. Narrator: "They were coming though, slowly, through danger and obstacle." The pilgrims are navigating through a river valley with sheer cliffs on either side of the river. Monkey looks down into the river and says that he can't find a way across and complains that Tripitaka won't cloud fly. Tripitaka is unworried and says that they will go around, when the skies blacken and thunder and lightning suddenly strike. A giant fountain rises out of the river Yu-Lung the dragon emerges from it and snatches Tripitaka's horse. Tripitaka is distraught about walking to India, but Monkey says he'll have to swim in to get it, but Tripitaka is worried that he will be hurt for nothing if the horse has already been eaten. Monkey chases Yu-Lung underwater and is slapped in the back twice with the dragon's tail before the dragon emerges. Monkey evades a third slap and the tail ends up hitting the dragon's head when Monkey points his staff at Yu-Lung and threatens him with losing his eyes. Yu-Lung says that he's already eaten the horse and Monkey becomes angry, telling him that Tripitaka can't get to India without the horse. Yu-Lung tells Monkey that Kuan Yin told him to carry Tripitaka, and he blows Monkey back up to the cliff ledge with the fountain and transforms himself into Tripitaka's new horse, coloured white. Monkey and Tripitaka are wondering what happened when the horse pipes up. Yu-Lung (horse form): "Good day Tripitaka sir. Kuan Yin asked me to carry you. If you'd like to mount up, Sir." Tripitaka: "It can talk." Yu-Lung: "I can but I'm shy. I don't do it very often." Monkey: "I should hope not hay bag. Beats walking, huh?" Narrator: "The eunuch should not take pride in his chastity - so the dragon had no more cause for self-congratulation, replacing a horse it had eaten." The pilgrims continue their trek across the forest. Tripitaka spots a temple with a large stupa in the valley. As night falls the small group reaches the out-of-the-way temple. Tripitaka decides that they will spend the night there and thanks the oddly jocular abbot for receiving him, who is glad to have the honour to do so. While they acquaint themselves over a cup of tea, the abbot has seen the boxes that they carry. He asks if they are necessary treasures from the Emperor, Jade or even Holy Relics. Tripitaka knows that the best of men can be tempted by beauty sometimes, so he claims to be carrying nothing of importance, as it is the inner spirit which is important. Monkey is more forthcoming, and says "He's guessed it. Where's the harm, he's one of your lot. Let him have a look." He shows the abbot the brilliant shining purple robe from Buddha and says "feast your eyes". The abbot becomes abnormally excited and uncontrollably blinks his eyes, brushing off Tripitaka's alarm by saying that his old eyes are having trouble seeing the robe in the candlelight. The abbot asks if he can borrow it for the night and Tripitaka agrees. As they finish eating and bed down for the night, Tripitaka is still worried about the robe, while Monkey is munching nonchalantly on a bun. Neighing from Yu-Lung makes Monkey suspicious and he tries to open all the doors and windows to investigate but they have been locked in! He transforms into a white rat (an improvement according to Tripitaka) and ventures outside and sees the Lord Abbott directing his men to light and stoke fires on the bushes around Tripitaka's sleeping quarters. He wants to burn Monkey and Tripitaka alive so he can keep the robe for himself, saying that it is so beautiful, while the rat can't see what's so important about it. Monkey immediately returns to Tripitaka (who is starting to panic and choke as the flames and smoke creeps through the screen) and transforms to his normal form. Tripitaka keeps on grabbing Monkey ("We'll burn alive") while he tells him to sit down ("Not before we get the scriptures. What's the point of having a magic assistant if I can't get you out alive?"). Monkey gathers the luggage and takes his hand ("You've got nice hands", says Monkey jokingly), he knocks a hole in the roof and they both fly out of the burning building and land safely away from the flames. The Buddha robe must be retrieved. Tripitaka wants to go and ask the abbot for it, but Monkey tells him that he should go back to the temple to get it. Narrator: "The trouble with the illusion of magic is that mere belief in it only causes more demons." The abbot is celebrating his new clothing and thinks that a holy garment will bring longevity and perhaps immortality. A black cloud begins to materialize and a big, burly, all-black demon, called the Night Demon appears. He wants the robe. The abbot stands terrified, unable to move as the Night Demon strikes him on the back and he slumps on the table. The Night Demon looks at the robe admiringly. Monkey comes in and shouts "Light fingers. It doesn't belong to you. I'm coming to get you." Calling a cloud, Monkey chases the demon back to his cave (the demon is flying on his black cloud). Monkey gets burnt on the way by a shower of fireballs projected at him by the Night Demon. Monkey demands that the Night Demon gives him back the robe. "Fight me for it!" says the demon. Monkey replies "You bet I will" and attacks, but the Night Demon just stands there and contemptuously grabs him and throws him away each time he attempts to hit him. Monkey loses his balance from swinging too hard a few times, splitting a few trees and a boulder in the process. The Night Demon runs and closes the entrance to his cave (to shouts of coward, sissy and poofter from Monkey!). Monkey punches and hurts himself against the wall but can find no way in, until he falls at the feet of a small boy who arrives carrying a pill for the demon from the Wizard Chang. He introduces himself as " I'm nobody sir," and says that this pill makes the demon 1000 times stronger and treats indigestion (explaining why he was able to fend off Monkey). Monkey says "Ah, he wants to fight Monkey does he?" and swallows the pill and transforms himself into a copy of the pill which the boy then delivers to the Night Demon, who first checks that no monkey is hanging around. The Night Demon takes the pill-form Monkey and gets a very nasty case of indigestion. A tiny Monkey is attacking the demon from within with his wishing staff as the Night Demon rolls back into his cave in front of the flabbergasted boy. The Night Demon can take the pain no more and coughs up Monkey. He tells Monkey that he has had enough; he returns the robe to Monkey. Monkey, Tripitaka and Yu-Lung continue on their journey. Narrator: "Monkey was trapped by desire and released by a boy priest. An abbot died for greed. The Buddha taught, "Whatever you do, you do to yourself. We want so much when we need so little. But the illumined man wants for nothing." _________________________________________________________________ It's fast, it's easy and it's free. Get MSN Messenger today! http://www.msn.co.uk/messenger - --------------------------------------------------------------------- + List guidelines: http://www.monkeyheaven.com/guidelines.html + To unsubscribe, send an email to: majordomo@valinor.eldar.org with 'unsubscribe monkey' in the body of your message + Need help? Send an email to: owner-monkey@valinor.eldar.org - --------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 05 Feb 2004 18:16:21 +0000 From: "Howell Parry" Subject: [monkey] Episode summary - "The Great Journey Begins" (Season 1, Episode 3) Here's a summary of Monkey episode 3 by Monkey fan Bao-Loc Nguyen. I will add it to the Monkey Summaries section (http://www.monkeyheaven.com/summaries.html) soon. Howell ps If you spot any errors in the summary, please let me know ASAP - thanks! - ---- Episode summary - "The Great Journey Begins" (Season 1, Episode 3) Narrator: "The tremendous journey has begun... The Buddha in each of us knows that no scriptures can save a single soul unless that soul makes the effort to achieve enlightenment. What is enlightenment? How is it reached? This the scriptures can answer. This is why the comrades must brave the dangers and difficulties of a great journey to fetch them... Not the least of the difficulties of course come from Monkey himself..." The great journey has hardly, but Monkey is already moaning. They've only travelled 200 leagues, and the Temple of the Thunder Clap is 108,000 leagues away (contradicting the Emperor's earlier statement that it was 105,000 leagues away). Tripitaka and Monkey struggle over a bit of mental arithmetic until Tripitaka concludes that there are still more than 107,000 leagues to go. "Look at my blisters", he moans, taking off his boot. He wonders why Tripitaka won't simply take a cloud trip to the Temple, "Sometimes I think humans are crazy". To Tripitaka's amusement, Monkey goes on strike. He refuses to go a step further and sits down in the road. As Tripitaka moves off without him, walking the horse, Monkey shouts to him that he'll be eaten by monsters, and that he won't get far and Monkey won't be around to save him. Monkey, knowing that his Master won't get far without his protection, grudgingly puts his boot on and rejoins the group, jumping back in front of Tripitaka just as the calls from a strange crow attract their attention. Tripitaka notices that in a tree a little distance off, a crow sits in a nest. The crow transforms into a man by flapping its wings and squawking, or by using its arms when in human form. Monkey (already in a bad mood) fires off a stream of insults at the man, such as "It'll never hatch", and, "Are you stuffed?" Monkey demands to know what he is doing, with a typical "Oi." "Waiting for you", replies the crow. Monkey's further insults and threats and demands for the man (dressed as a priest) to come down amuse the priest, infuriating Monkey even more. The man is wearing black robes, has a goatee, and a black hat with a feather coming out of it. Monkeys says that he'll knock him off, and he swings repeatedly at the tree with his wishing staff, but his blows simply pass through the tree and send Monkey accelerating into a wild spin. Coming down from his perch, the mysterious man introduces himself to Tripitaka, and recognizes that it is Tripitaka although he hasn't ever met him. He has been sent to warn against certain dangers. He recommends that Monkey and Tripitaka take an alternative route as, "the path is not always shortest because it is straight". The forces of evil will try to stop them because, "The kings of all the hells don't want to relieve human suffering". However, they both agree that Buddha will prevail, after he says it will be a difficult journey, as "Evil everywhere feeds off good." Before he leaves he gives Tripitaka a useful sutra against the illusion of evil, called the PrajnaParamita Sutra, also known as the Heart Sutra. He sees Monkey still spinning and pats him on the back and laughs, "Spinning like the earth". Monkey curses him again, "lousy priest" and tries to hit him with his staff but it passes straight through, and he reappears on top of his tree, saying "Tripitaka, Monkey, still your thoughts". Narrator: "There is a village on the new path they must take." There, the locals are living in fear of a monster. A man comes along to a restaurant where the locals are waiting for their meal at the end of a long day with a reward of 1000 gold pieces for anybody who can rid the town of him. They discuss its strength and become despondent. The waitress is serving tea when Monkey approaches and asks him what the monster is that they're talking about. The man tells him "You're a bit on the small side for fighting monsters. Shoo!" and Monkey becomes angry and cockily brushes off their criticism, before putting the luggage down and starts causing havoc with the restaurant tables and the patrons. The patrons tell him it's "against the law to fight" but he retorts "I love to fight," before Tripitaka stops him. Monkey and Tripitaka are shown to the village leader for a more detailed explanation, and an apology is received. The village leader's daughter (Blue Orchid) is married to this monster. Initially, her husband was strong and hardworking, despite not being exactly good-looking, but he soon gave into his animal nature and became greedy and lustful. He also knows magic. These days all he does is eat, drink and fight ("Then you wouldn't say he's all bad then?" says Monkey). The village headman says it is a disgrace to his family. The swine has locked Blue Orchid away in its home and sealed the locks with molten copper. We see a night patrol walking the streets with a torch as Pigsy strides around with his muckrake. Monkey goes to the house where Blue Orchid is being held and uses brags to the family and Tripitaka that he will break the lock bare fisted, after contradicting the headman and saying that the lock is solid iron. Monkey punches the lock and comically pretends to hurt himself the first time, but then uses his immortal strength to rip the link where the lock has been threaded. They release the girl and she is emotionally reunited with her parents just before the monster's wind announces his return. As the others flee in fear of the Pig monster killing them, Monkey sees the girl break down and feels sorry for her. Monkey, master of 72 transformations, takes on Blue Orchid's costume and waits for the monster to return. A very amorous monster returns, with Blue Orchid lying face down on the bed. It receives several heavy smacks and elbowings which it interprets as passion as it bends down to embrace its wife. The monster and Blue Orchid roll about on the ground, with Monkey's head on the body, but the monster doesn't notice before it is punched twice more. "You're a pig, that's what you are," Blue Orchid screams, to which the monster replies, "You knew that. This is the pig which loves you." Blue Orchid pulls up her dress. The monster puts his face at her ankles and is almost dreaming when he is kicked in the head with both legs. He says he can't credit such passion, so Monkey reveals himself, shouting "Pigsy!" They've met before, although the monster is slow to react to Monkey's face. It's the former Marshall of the Heavenly hosts - Pigsy! Monkey says he never forgets a snout or a smelly pig and vows to make pork pies. Several weeks of intermittent battle result, including an exchange on top of a cumulus in Heaven. During a lull in the fighting Pigsy sneaks off to his hideout in Cloud Ladder Cave and locks himself in. Monkey follows him and calls him a coward. Pigsy says it is an accident that he is a pig and claims to be an angel, who was kicked out for touching the Star Spirit Vega. Monkey challenges Pigsy to open the door and fight, during which Monkey is stung by Pigsy's muckrake. Pigsy says that Lao Tzu baked his muckrake in his crucible, which explains its power and proves his heavenly origin. Monkey tells Pigsy his head is rock-hard from eating Heavenly Peaches and tells Pigsy to hit him on the head with his muckrake. However Pigsy is reluctant, claiming his muckrake is magically strong and will kill Monkey, saying it causes volcanoes when it is struck against a mountain. Pigsy then whacks Monkey senseless with his muckrake without managing to kill him and then Monkey retaliates, proving the strength of his Magic Wishing Staff. They are totally stoned but agree to be friends and walk off arm in arm making trivial comments about the chirping birds. After a brief lecture from Tripitaka on two of the Buddha precepts - lust and appetite, Pigsy becomes the third Holy Disciple. Pigsy tells Tripitaka that he is excited by Monkey's promises of good battles and adventures, but he is told that he has misunderstood the objective of the journey. It is a special journey so he must behave. Narrator: "Pigsy promised, somewhat chastened, but he was afraid he might fail. You may run from tigers, but where can you run from your own fear? Desire is unquenchable... you can only free yourself from it." It isn't long before Pigsy's new resolution is put to the test. The pilgrims are resting in a forest clearing by a fire at night, after dark and dinner. Tripitaka is meditating while Pigsy is discussing his former heavenly life with Monkey and arguing over the position of the Milky Way and Heaven in the sky, and Pigsy remembers Vega. They then doze off, and in the middle of the night, while Pigsy is sleeping and dreaming, he holds Monkey's hand, when a spider drops down from its web and transforms into a woman, twirling about a couple of times. She invites a very eager Pigsy back to her house to meet her three beautiful daughters, who replaces a branch in Monkey's hand and tiptoes off with the woman, after she tells him not to wake the others. A delighted Pigsy is brought to a house and is introduced to the woman's three shy daughters, Shi-Shi, Ai-Ai and Den-Den, one of whom he touches on the cheek. He is blindfolded and told that eventually he must marry all three because there are no suitable husbands buried in the forest. However, tonight he will choose one of the girls, "Only one?" he grumbles. As he chases the girls, they accelerate around him in a circle, he takes his blindfold to take a sneak peek, but becomes groggy at the sight of the rotating girls and they throw confetti on him, trapping him in their web. The next morning, Pigsy is found alive, but hanging from a tree inside the web, which is basically a net. The mysterious black robed priest that Tripitaka and Monkey met at the start of the episode, chastises and then releases Pigsy, who falls to the ground, "What a stupid, lustful Pigsy you are,". He tells Pigsy that for the sake of their holy quest Pigsy must try to give up women. Pigsy promises never to look at a girl again, to which the priest simply says, "Do your best." Again Pigsy promises to control his animal nature. He dances his way back to the campsite, where Monkey and Tripitaka are waiting. Monkey concludes that he must have quit and gone after a girl, but Tripitaka insists on waiting. Tripitaka sees him dancing and says that he will ask where he went. Pigsy gooses the first woman he meets and souvenirs an apple, much to the disgust of Monkey, who claims "that animal is quite impossible." The group stops overnight to rest and eat. Pigsy complains to the waitress because he wants more rice, but he has eaten the restaurant dry. He is told that he has eaten 37 portions of rice, surpassing the previous record of 2. He says he is hungry after keeping guard all night and then Tripitaka offers him all of his original serving, which he hasn't even touched yet. The pilgrims are resting in the stable, when Pigsy enquires about why Monkey wants to walk all the way to India. Monkey tells Pigsy of the headband and after being told of its origins, he offers to remove it for Monkey. He rubs the area around the ring with a special ointment and then lifts it up, but only succeeds in lifting Monkey up by his neck, much to his agony, waking an amused Tripitaka from his sleep. By afternoon of the next day the group has come to a halt by a river - The Mighty River of the Flowing Sands. A stone inscription says that the river is 500 leagues across. Crossing is no problem for Pigsy (who can swim) and Monkey (who can cloud fly) but the little priest can't swim and as a mortal can't fly on Monkey's. Pigsy says that "It's difficult travelling with humans," and Monkey head butts him in the face. A solution presents itself when a water monster wades to the shore and threatens to eat them for daring to cross the river, "Who dares to cross the River of the Flowing Sands?" Monkey has other ideas, "You won't eat anyone, Bogart", and realizes that this monster can help them get across as the monster wanders off. Monkey chases the monster to his underwater cave during an underwater descent, tackling him in the process. The monster breaks loose and heads to his cave. The monster is a cannibal and his underwater cave is littered with human bones; ribs, skulls, limbs, the lot. He lies down on his sofa and leisurely begins to consult his spell book for a spell, "Now where's the spell against amphibious apes?", when Monkey comes in and disturbs him, which he claims is private property, and whinges about privacy. He offers to carry the priest across the river in his belly "much tastier than rice", when Monkey tells him about their difficulty, at which point Monkey attacks him, but he slips away and puts his arm around him, claiming to be as slippery as an eel. The monster then suggests they give him the fat one (Pigsy), Monkey tells him that he too is needed to look after Tripitaka. Upon hearing the mention Tripitaka, the monster reveals that he has been waiting for the priest. He is the former Commander of the Heavenly Hosts, expelled to earth for breaking the Jade Emperor's cup - resulting in a drop of the wine of immortality finding its way into the belly of a barbarian named Genghis Khan, who conquered half the world before the wine lost effect. Sandy says he was told by Kuan Yin to go with them to India, but says after centuries of waiting he may just eat them all instead, putting his arm around Monkey. Monkey quickly points out that the pig is a former Marshal of the Heavenly Hosts who has joined in the hope that he may one day return to Heaven. Perhaps, he suggests, if you join us you can return to heaven too? Sandy wonders if it is possible and wonders for a moment. The Water Monster, who Tripitaka names Sandy, joins the group, adding that his extraordinary good looks, ability to find food and eat things no-one else will might come in handy. Tripitaka tells him that he can't eat meat and must be a vegetarian, while Pigsy tells him off for claiming that he is the most handsome. There is still the problem of crossing the river though. Sandy tells them the only way to get to the other side is to swim, and Pigsy tells Sandy that he must be incompetent because he can't get Tripitaka across, and jostling and slapping breaks out before Tripitaka berates them. Simultaneously, the black priest comes to their aid. "Comrades try using that", and he drops a red bottle (or gourd) on Sandy's head. Sandy tells them it is useless in its current state and brushes the others aside, kneeling on his knees before using his arm rolling magic to enlarge it until it comes close to resembling a giant gourd-shaped boat. The entire group safely crosses the river during the sunset, heading northwest to the desert on the other side. A great gale begins to blow, from a yellow clouded desert geyser. It appears too powerful to be natural. Monkey suspects that only magic could create such a powerful sandstorm and suggests they wait for the storm to die down, so that Tripitaka doesn't get blown off. Tripitaka however, will not accept delays - for the sake of the souls in torment in the 9 hells - and insists that they carry on. Pigsy says Buddha will look after them and wants to go, but Monkey says that it won't happen, so he stops him. Sandy agrees to accompany Tripitaka while Pigsy and Monkey hunker down. In the midst of this storm Pigsy smells cats with his useful snout. A tuft of fur that Monkey catches leads him to the realization that they have walked into a Tiger Ghost ambush. Tripitaka and Sandy are attacked by the Tiger Ghost general and roughly a dozen tiger soldiers. "I am the spirit of 1000 tigers, general to the Tiger King. Fish-man, surrender." Sandy tells them that meat eating is only for pussy cats and that he should try vegetarianism, before attacking them. Sandy fends the tigers off easily and confidently despite being vision-impaired by the sand. In the confusion of the sand storm, the Tiger Ghost General makes off with Tripitaka after knocking away his staff, while Sandy is still fighting and takes him back to the Tiger King's lair as meat for the table. The Tiger Ghost general throws Tripitaka on the ground and boasts to the Tiger King, who is unimpressed, addressing him as "silly cat" and saying that he is stupid to declare war on all of Heaven. However, he is tempted by the look of Tripitaka and says that they should perhaps kill him and leave him here, hoping that Monkey is stupid and will forget about them and then eat Tripitaka a few days later, much to the amusement of the general. Monkey and Pigsy have seen Sandy as the storm clears and the other tigers flee. The horse is standing around doing nothing. They realize that Tripitaka has been captured, and Monkey asks what Pigsy was doing. He tells him off when he replies that he was answering a call of nature. Sandy has already charged off after the footprints of the tigers, when Monkey sends along Pigsy after him. Monkey flies off ahead in his cloud, and is spotted by the tigers while he is in the air. He turns into a wasp and flies in, much to the alarm of the guards, and the general. He flies into the larder room and lands on Tripitaka's hat. Tripitaka shakes his hat, and Monkey has a headache and changes back into human form, head butting a porcelain pot. He tells Tripitaka off for his carelessness, "Who did you think it was, buzzing on your hat? People are so thoughtless". Tripitaka tells him to unchain him, and Monkey tucks into the food, commenting that Pigsy should have rescued Tripitaka. Meanwhile, Pigsy and Sandy are at the front of the cave, fighting the guards, whom they outclass and wear down very easily. Pigsy has a close moment when the Tiger Ghost general's blade comes within inches of his throat, but Pigsy holds him off and does a 1-2 counterstrike, and charges into the cave, with the Tiger Ghost General hitting the doorframe with his sword, allowing Sandy a couple of free hits, and he then wounds and kills the Tiger Ghost general with a few ruthless strokes, who lets out a tiger roar as his death rattle. The soldiers report the attack and death of the Tiger Ghost General to the King, who tells them off for attacking Tripitaka. He is about to abandon his lair and run away, when Monkey charges in and challenges him. Monkey starts picking off the guards. The Tiger King's scent is his best defence. Releasing a poisonous yellow cloud he blinds Monkey. The Tiger King's men attack, "We shall feast on blood tonight!" he shouts, describing the health effects of the cloud on Monkey, including blindness and liver and kidney poisoning. Monkey may be blind but he can still smell and hear. He gropes about and defeats the guards with sequence of rather jerky and ragged swipes, he mortally wounds the Tiger King, and is measuring off his head, when he is stopped from finishing him off by Tripitaka and Sandy, whom he refrains from hitting after Sandy puts his hand on his head plate. Tripitaka says that the king is dying anyway and offers to help him but says that "He who lives by violence will die a violent death." The dying Tiger King has no time for Tripitaka's preaching; his final wish before he crawls off to die is that the world would die with him. He crawls off under the table and transforms into a tiger. Monkey is distraught and is stopped from punching a window by Sandy. He is becoming disconsolate. Monkey does not know any magic to cure his sight, and is only cured when Tripitaka sits him down and kisses his eyelids. Sandy finds Pigsy eating stew straight from the pot in the larder room and tells him off, "You're disgusting. You think of nothing but food" and reminds him of the presence of death. Pigsy however is unrepentant, saying that he is aware that the tigers are dead and the food is of no use to them, as Sandy shakes his head in disbelief. Tripitaka and The Holy Disciples continue on their journey. Narrator: "The monstrous is only a matter of opinion. To some of us opinions are so precious we will die for them again and again." _________________________________________________________________ It's fast, it's easy and it's free. Get MSN Messenger today! http://www.msn.co.uk/messenger - --------------------------------------------------------------------- + List guidelines: http://www.monkeyheaven.com/guidelines.html + To unsubscribe, send an email to: majordomo@valinor.eldar.org with 'unsubscribe monkey' in the body of your message + Need help? Send an email to: owner-monkey@valinor.eldar.org - --------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ End of Monkey Digest V1 #1206 ***************************** ----------------------------------------- List guidelines: http://www.monkeyheaven.com/guidelines.html List archives: http://archive.monkeyheaven.com/ User name: greatsage Password: masaaki To unsubscribe from the Monkey Mailing List digest list, send mail to: majordomo@valinor.eldar.org with the following command in the body of your email message: unsubscribe monkey-digest To send a message to the list, send mail to: monkey-digest@valinor.eldar.org If you have any problems or questions, send mail to: owner-monkey@valinor.eldar.org For lots more information and news about "Monkey", check out the Monkey Heaven web site: http://www.monkeyheaven.com/