From: owner-monkey@valinor.eldar.org (Monkey Digest) To: monkey-digest@valinor.eldar.org Subject: Monkey Digest V1 #1096 Reply-To: monkey@valinor.eldar.org Sender: owner-monkey@valinor.eldar.org Errors-To: owner-monkey@valinor.eldar.org Precedence: bulk Monkey Digest Monday, November 4 2002 Volume 01 : Number 1096 In this issue: [monkey] New Monkey - Doctor Who crossover story ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sat, 02 Nov 2002 13:44:56 +0000 From: "Howell Parry" Subject: [monkey] New Monkey - Doctor Who crossover story I found this little story that someone's written involving Monkey and Pigsy on alt.drwho.creative: http://groups.google.com/groups?q=monkey+pigsy&hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&scoring=d&selm=Xns92B3E576743A3pandinac%40130.133.1.4&rnum=1 - -- Northern Asia, some time in the early seventh century... Ingo, le singe bleu, awoke in a foul mood. Since being mysteriously zapped from his homeland, he had been betrayed by several so-called allies and repeatedly knocked unconcious - and, worse, he hadn't done anything nasty to a red monkey in *ages*. He got to his feet, and looked around. He was in a clump of trees standing by the side of a road that stretched off into the distance in one direction and, in the other direction, wended its way up a small hill. Just at the point where it disappeared over the summit, there was a rocky outcrop by the side of the road that Ingo immediately picked as the best spot to survey the surrounding terrain. He was not the first to think so, for perched on the outcrop was a red monkey. Ingo howled with rage. He may have lost all his weapons, but while he still had his teeth and claws, no red monkey was going to sit above him surveying the world in that self-assured manner. Halfway up the hillside, Ingo got a better look and realised that the new monkey's colouring came primarily from the red jacket it wore - but this thought gave him not a moment's pause. Naturally-red monkeys were bad enough, in Ingo's opinion, but there was only one treatment suitable for a monkey that had a choice and *chose* to be red... - --- Perched on the rocky outcropping he had found, Monkey surveyed the road ahead and saw that it was free of obstacles. This observation occasioned some regret - it had been three weeks since the last time a demon had attacked the pilgrims, and while this meant that they had been making good progress on their journey to India, Monkey was beginning to feel a bit bored. As he was turning back to report to his companions, who were still working their way up the hill, a bone-chilling howl rent the air and a strange blue creature burst out of a cluster of trees down below. It began bounding up the hill toward Monkey, hands outstretched and teeth bared. Monkey reached for his cudgel, then stopped. He was certain that the creature meant no good, but he knew from past experience that leaping to the attack would earn him a lecture from Tripitaka later. ("Perhaps it meant to be friendly. How will we ever know, now that you have beaten its head in with your cudgel?") The creature was a third of the way up the hill now. Monkey summoned a friendly smile and called out, "Greetings! I am a disciple of the priest Tripitaka, who is travelling to India to look for scriptures." The creature took no notice. It was two thirds of the way up the hill now, and it could be seen that it somewhat resembled a monkey, despite its strange colour and the way its face was twisted with rage. Monkey's hands itched for his cudgel. "I'm warning you! Don't make me do something we'll both regret!" The creature reached the top of the hill and tried to sink its teeth into Monkey's throat. Even as his mind started constructing the precise injured tone in which to say "It tried to kill me, Master!", Monkey's body was already hurling itself joyfully into battle. - --- The traditional formula at this point runs something like "It was a grand fight. They closed fifty or sixty times, till at last Ingo could resist no more and fled from the battlefield." But, in fact, Ingo was not a patch on the great foes Monkey was accustomed to, and Monkey had no need of any of the tricks for which he was famous. Indeed, had Monkey not chosen to amuse himself by fighting one-handed and unarmed, the fight would have been over in much less than the four minutes it took for Tripitaka, Sandy, and Pigsy to reach the top of the hill. - --- "Monkey!" Tripitaka cried. "What have I told you about fighting all the time?" "It was self-defense, Master! This creature tried to--" Monkey paused to prise his assailant's teeth out of his leg. "It tried to tear my throat out!" The creature essayed a repeat performance, and Pigsy rapped it smartly over the head with the haft of his muck-rake. It collapsed, unconscious. "You could have done that yourself at any time," Tripitaka told Monkey. "You will never gain enlightenment while you persist in fighting for its own sake." Monkey admitted the truth of this, and turned his attention to his attacker. In repose, with the furious expression somewhat relaxed, the creature could almost have been one of his own kin. "Perhaps..." he said tentatively, "perhaps, Master, we could bring it along with us, and you could teach it about the path of compassion and non-violence?" *And if it proves unteachable,* he told himself, *at least I need not fear being bored again any time soon...* - --- From a different rocky outcrop a safe distance away, Paul and Donald watched the pilgrims continue down the road, with Pigsy complaining about having to carry the securely-trussed Ingo in addition to his usual load. "Lombard Street to a china orange Ingo's a penitent Buddhist by this time tomorrow," said Paul, more for the sound of the words than because he really believed them. "You know," said Donald, as they started back for the valley where they'd parked the convertible, "I think I actually have a china orange in a display cabinet in the TARDIS somewhere." After enjoying Paul's stricken expression for a moment, he added quickly, "But I won't take the bet, anyway. I don't think I have a display cabinet big enough for Lombard Street." _________________________________________________________________ Surf the Web without missing calls! Get MSN Broadband. http://resourcecenter.msn.com/access/plans/freeactivation.asp - --------------------------------------------------------------------- + List guidelines: http://www.monkeyheaven.com/guidelines.html + To unsubscribe, send an email to: majordomo@valinor.eldar.org with 'unsubscribe monkey' in the body of your message + Need help? Send an email to: owner-monkey@valinor.eldar.org - --------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ End of Monkey Digest V1 #1096 ***************************** ----------------------------------------- List guidelines: http://www.monkeyheaven.com/guidelines.html List archives: http://archive.monkeyheaven.com/ User name: greatsage Password: masaaki To unsubscribe from the Monkey Mailing List digest list, send mail to: majordomo@valinor.eldar.org with the following command in the body of your email message: unsubscribe monkey-digest To send a message to the list, send mail to: monkey-digest@valinor.eldar.org If you have any problems or questions, send mail to: owner-monkey@valinor.eldar.org For lots more information and news about "Monkey", check out the Monkey Heaven web site: http://www.monkeyheaven.com/